I used to live in Canada. I lived there for 4 years, from 1999 until 2003. My life there was just fantastic. I loved the liberal Canadian society. Different peoples lived in peace together. Its ethnic diversity was such a wonder for a person who grew up in one of the world's most homogeneous societies. I even obtained permanent residency and decided to live there forever.
However, I ended up leaving Canada. Why did I leave Canada even though I loved it? I should rethink of it now that I am considering moving to another English speaking country, the United States. If I don't figure out the exact reasons, I might make the same mistakes in US.
The official reason why I left Canada is its climate. Canada is simply too cold to me. I really hate cold weather. I could not stand wearing a thick gown jacket for six months a year. I longed for a warm climate. (So later I ended up living in Vietnam!)
Having a closer look, however, this is not the only reason of my departure. I was lonely in Canada... I did
n't have any Japanese male friend there. (There were very few young Japanese men, actually. It was virtually impossible for me to find a person with a similar social background in Toronto of early 2000s...) I could not find another interesting job in Toronto. I
didn't speak a perfect English and it was a source of my inferiority complex.
I wanted to make friends with Canadians who were born there. They were native English speakers and didn't seem to be interested in immigrants who were born abroad. Cultural gap was so huge that it was difficult for me to find a common topic to talk about over dinner party. Toronto people were not so friendly during the long cold winter. It made the winter even more unbearable.
Maybe, this is a typical melancholy felt by immigrants who seriously wish to assimilate into the new society. Maybe I was too short-tempered. Time might have solved the problem. However, I wanted to get it solved immediately and when I saw it would take time to do so, I just decided to leave Canada instead of sticking to it.
Asian societies are easier for me to adapt but not as exciting as English speaking countries. English speaking
societies keep stimulating my brain...make me think and grow my mind a lot. I like them. But the same time I hate them because it is difficult to adapt them...this is an ambivalent feeling.
8 years have passed since I left Canada. Time flies! I still haven't solved this paradox yet. Maybe it's time t
o give it another try. Maybe this time I can do it better. I have had variety of experiences since leaving Cana
da. Now I am more mature than before.
After all, I am still too young to give up everything.